some things we do could be for someone we love

12th december 2008, i had to embrace a ‘test’... everything that i worked for before is tested on that day... i remember in the past the reason why i failed the previous ‘test’, so i change it by working more harder n better... i truly did... with my friends' spirit, i also become like i want to work more harder... so, before the ‘test’ i felt nervous... its a different nervous that i felt during my previous ‘tests’... i feel like if i cant score it, its like what i worked before is not worth it... i tried my best to overcome the feelings...

during the ‘test’, at first i manage to do it... alhamdulillah n insyaAllah what i've done is true... but then, after a while the ‘test’ become harder to me... i didnt panic of course... i kept asking myself "why cant i do it? why it bcome more harder?"... in the end, when the ‘test’ is done i realize that most of the things i do during the ‘test’ is not right... in my heart, i already felt that everything that i've done were just a waste...

however, that feelings changed that night... it all happens when i stay alone, thinking of what i did that day... i know that everything happened for a reason... n when i remember it, i did a few bad things that day... so i realize that this is probably what i get from Allah when i done something bad... i also realize that this might be a ‘test’ from Allah (probably to ‘test’ whether i still believe in "everything happened for a reason")... it makes perfect sence to me...

but then... i remembered about my parents... so i called them that night... i spoke to them about the ‘test’... i tell them everything that had happen... at first i truly feel like i really let them down... it really did but not that much... they say that,

"even a strong n perfect warrior has a small weakness in them that gives the enemy the advantage in winning against him"

i manage to understand what they were trying to say... they also told me that,

"a true king is not choose by their strength n power or their intelligents, but it is the effort n the desire to help the citizens that makes them a great n worthy king"

by that sentence, i understand the reasons why i have to work harder... insyaAllah, i can do it next time... insyaAllah...